Vita's birth of river.
Fast, furious, and incredibly serene thanks to hypnobirthing .
This is an absolutely wonderful telling of a birth experience with so much that we can learn. Some people brush off birth affirmations but Vita used them brilliantly in her birth. They became a totem to protect her from fear, uncertainty and pain. Her use of our Basic Breath hypnobirthing breathing technique was also wonderful. This is a wonderful share of a positive birth experience, even when that birth is fast. Enjoy.
In my experience, a fast birth elicits a mix of admiration and suspicion among people. Admiration for your reproductive prowess, suspicion because of the uncertainty around whether you suffered enough to merit motherhood.
I don’t know first hand what a long or complicated labour feels like and I know that makes me lucky. But the thing with fast births is that they are just that: fast. You don’t have time to process what is happening, you barely have time to catch your breath between surges. You really need to keep your wits about you as you don’t have the time or headspace to talk things through.
Both my children were delivered naturally, the first in hospital and the second at home. Baby River was born last month. Seeing as my first had come quickly (first contractions around 4pm, in active labour by 9pm, baby born at 11.20 pm), the midwife warned me that he would be even quicker. With Isla I laboured at home and was so relaxed I didn’t realize I was even in active labour until the midwife arrived and rushed me to the hospital, where she was born 20 minutes later. And while labour had been very manageable, the pushing phase was so sudden and so violent it gave me a fourth degree tear.
This time round I decided to try hypnobirthing. I really enjoyed Melanie’s Better Birth Stories online course, it was so easy to follow and gave just the right amount of information. The guided meditations helped me a lot in my third trimester, I practiced them almost daily, mainly as a way to unwind before bed or to get back to sleep in the middle of the night.
But as my due date approached, I realized I needed to start using the course to prepare for birth too. Following Melanie’s advice in one of the lessons I rented a birth pool; originally, I had thought it wasn’t worth the effort – boy was I wrong! At 39 +1 weeks I accepted my midwife’s offer of a sweep and 12 hours later I felt my first contraction. The next came right away, strong. It was midnight, my partner was sleeping and it had been a tiring day, I was reluctant to wake him up or call my midwife, who I also assumed was asleep. I tried timing the surges, but thought something was off, as they were so intense and regular, coming just over a minute a part. I tried searching online to see if it could be some kind of fake labour, but it was hard to focus with so little time between such powerful contractions. After 20 minutes I finally woke my partner and called the midwife. The surges had come on so suddenly I found it hard to process that it was really happening. In hindsight I am grateful that my partner and I had spent the day readying everything as I would not have been able to do things like fetch towels, or figure out how to dim the lights, or how to fill up the birth pool.
That day I had also re-listened to a few of the lessons from the course to refresh my memory and make sure I had the meditations handy for labour. The first time I had listened to Melanie’s lesson on affirmations I kind of skimmed through it, not thinking it was my kind of thing. But, after seeing a video of a hypnobirth where affirmations had been hung on the wall around the birthing pool I decided it might be a nice touch to set the mood so I chose the affirmations I liked the most, printed them out large enough so I could read them in dim light and decorated the wall with them. Little did I know they would become my anchor in the hours to come.
I got into the pool as soon as it was full, which took about 30 minutes. Wow, I will never forget how the water seemed to embrace and hold me. I thought that perhaps I’d finally have a bit of time to relax and savour the moment I had been waiting for for so many months. But the surges were unrelenting and I could feel that the pushing phase was very, very close.
Affirmations may not work for everyone, I didn’t think they would for me. But I had underrated their power and they were exactly what I needed. With my first baby I had used a breathing technique called RAT (Respiratory Autogenic Training) during labour, but then I had been getting mild surges for several hours and had eased into the stronger surges more gradually - I had time to have a nap and relax watching TV, so I had no trouble focusing on my breath and following the techniques I had learned. This time was very different. From the moment the first contraction woke me up at midnight it was game on. The simplicity of the basic breath really helped, so did the visualizations I had internalized during the weeks practicing the meditations. But more than anything it was the mantric repetition of my affirmations that kept me grounded and stopped me from spiralling into panic or pain.
I used different affirmations at different stages. The transition from labour to pushing and the pushing phase itself was very painful and I was scared of tearing. I kept repeating over and over that I birthed gently, asking my baby to be gentle, affirming that I knew how to birth my baby and that my baby knew how to be born. My partner and my midwives were little more than shadows, I blocked everything out except for the affirmations strung from the ceiling.
It took four mighty pushes and four blood curdling screams to birth River. And yes, on a physical level it was incredibly painful, I’m not going to lie. But it was also gentle and despite the pain, I was deeply relaxed and in a good place mentally and physically. I have no doubt in my mind that the affirmations and the basic breath were what enabled me to not give in to panic and fear during the relentless onslaught of the surges.
I can see now how easy it is to get thrown off when things don’t unfold as you had planned or imagined. Without really knowing it, through the weeks learning the course and practicing hypnobirthing I had collected a variety of tools and skills that I could draw on and choose from without relying on my rational brain.
I suppose the advice I want to share is that no matter how much you think about and plan for your birth you have no idea what will work for you in the moment. The birthing you is different to the pre or post birthing you. I had thought I wouldn’t need a birth pool, but it was a lifesaver. I had imagined I’d be listening to Melanie’s guided visualizations, instead there was no time for that, and anyway I found that during labour any noise or sound, even the quiet tones of the midwives, was extremely annoying, so had I counted on voice, or music as my only “tool” I would have been left stranded.
When the midwife pressed River into my arms I was in utter disbelief. He was here, it was over. It had taken a little over 2 hours from first surge to birth and I was able to deliver him as I had hoped for in the comfort of my home. Thank you Melanie, and all the women who have birthed before me for guiding me and giving me the confidence and strength to birth my baby my way.
P.S. Baby River is the gentlest and most pacific of babies, I am sure that hypnobirthing has left its invisible mark on his temperament.
Want to learn hypnobirthing with us?
Don’t forget that we have a full Online Antenatal Hypnobirthing Class that you can follow in your own time anywhere around the world. It is only £39/$49.
The Online Hypnobirthing Course
We also teach antenatal hypnobirthing classes in London in person with our One Day Group Hypnobirthing Class.
In-person Antental Hypnobirthing Group Class
If you’d rather prepare for your labour and birth solo with Melanie you can do so in the privacy of your own home in person if you live in London or via the Zoom platform wherever you are around the globe.
Private Antenatal Hypnobirthing Classes