I am rather fond of the latest Lego movie. The kids have been singing the new theme tune constantly...and the lyrics go like this:
'Everything's not awesome
Everything's not cool
I am so depressed
Everything's not awesome
Whoa, I think I finally get Radiohead'
The upbeat theme of the ever happy protagonist in film one has taken an about turn ..and frankly the cast are now thoroughly sunk.
However, then the following lines are sung:
'Everything's not awesome
Things can't be awesome all of the time
It's not realistic expectation
But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try
To make everything awesome
In a less likely, unrealistic kind of way
We should maybe aim for not bad
'Cause not bad, well that would be real great'
And in only 8 lines that film made my day.
We spend so much of our time aiming for perfect. Every paper, every magazine, pretty much most of the self-help books you will pull off the shelf or peruse in Amazon are telling you the same message.
Be an awesome mother.
..the list is endless.
We are selling everyone, including our children, a fake Valhalla. A place or state that can be achieved if you just try hard enough.
Well, here's the deal. Some days are just going to be rubbish. Other days will be bloody brilliant.
Ups and downs. The weave of a beautiful rug... the brown speckles on a perfect rose... the dent in the centre of your cake.
We are a society rife with anxiety and depression. Too much expectation has been heaped upon us all. Therefore we have taken to looking at our mental health a little like a fad diet. We yo-yo constantly.
For what it is worth here are my beliefs.
Depression doesn't happen by accident. It occurs because life has changed and you were not ready or prepared for that change.
The steel beams which held your house up have been removed. Now, no amount of 'positive thinking' will change the crumbling effect as the weight of the house bows.
So we need to learn sensibly how to replace the steel beams. How to support our houses from the foundations up again. This isn't a quick fix. And even when we have everything in place again and life is running smoothly we still need to be practical in how we deal with future bumps in the road. How we cope with changes in lifestyle, relationships, work, status, being a mother...not being a mother.
We can put processes and learning in place to protect our mental health but we need to see this as a constant priority in a world that can sometimes wring us dry.
You see, everything is not going to be awesome all of the time. But that can be okay.