There is a question that almost every first-time mother asks either out loud or in the quiet at 3am with her smartphone:
What do contractions actually feel like?
And the honest answer is that they feel different for every woman, in every labour, at every stage. But there are things I can tell you that will help you understand what to expect as welll as one thing, above all, that I want you to understand before your labour begins.
I'm Melanie — a birth doula, senior clinical hypnotherapist, and hypnobirthing teacher. I have been in the room for many labours. I have watched women meet their surges with surprise, with fear, with awe, and sometimes with a kind of fierce recognition as if their body was doing something it had always known how to do.
This piece is what I tell every woman before her birth.
Firstly let's have a word about language...
In hypnobirthing we use the word surge rather than contraction. This is not just semantics it’s a deliberate and meaningful choice.
The word contraction suggests something closing or tightening against you, working against your body. The word surge suggests something rising and building like a wave of energy, something powerful and purposeful moving through you and with you.
The muscle action is the same. But the story your brain tells you about that muscle action is different. And as a clinical hypnotherapist I can tell you that the story your brain tells about a physical sensation profoundly shapes how that sensation will be experienced.
Throughout this piece I will use both words because clearly you will hear both, but I want you to begin thinking of them as surges now.
What surges actually feel like: my honest description
I want to try and give you a real answer here rather than a sanitised one. Because the women who are most prepared are clearly the women who were told the truth. We're also all grown adults and pretending that a surge or contraction is simply a 'sensation' is really doing down the immensity of this life-changing event. I am also writing about sponatneous physiological labour here, not induced labour. Induced labour is known to be more painful for many different reasons and I cover that in my many blogs or videos about induction of labour.
In early labour
Early surges often feel like strong period pains, a tightening across your tummy, a deep ache in your lower back, or a combination of both. They are uncomfortable rather than overwhelming. They come and go. Between them you feel entirely normal.
For some women, early surges feel mild enough that they are not entirely sure whether this is really it. For others they are more noticeable from the start. Both of these are normal.
In active labour
As labour progresses and your cervix moves toward full dilation, the surges intensify. They become longer, stronger, and closer together. They demand your full attention and you cannot talk through them or ignore them.
What do they feel like?
Surges may feel incredibly powerful. You may feel as though you are being squeezed by an anaconda. You may feel aches and discomforts in certain areas. But they are effectively working to birth your baby, they are a normal part of the labour process.
The image of being squeezed by an anaconda was told to me by one of my clients and it is one of the most vivid and accurate descriptions I know. A powerful, full-body pressure that builds, peaks, and then releases completely. Not a sharp pain. Not a stabbing sensation. A deep, muscular, encompassing wave.
And then it passes. Completely. Even in active labour, between your surges there will be moments of genuine rest. Your body gives you those spaces so it's important to use every single one of them.
Transition
As we covered in the stages of labour blog, transition brings the most intense surges of the whole labour and also the shortest phase. If you feel overwhelmed, shaky, or like you simply cannot go on this is almost certainly transition. It means your baby is nearly here.
Back labour
If your baby is in an occiput posterior position, otherwise known as a back to back baby, you may experience what is called back labour. In this case, much of the sensation is felt in the lower back rather than the abdomen, a persistent, deep ache that may not ease completely between surges. Counter-pressure from your birth partner and warm water immersion are particularly effective for back labours.
The most important thing I want you to understand
Powerful surges are your body and baby working together effectively. Each one will bring you closer to your baby's birth. Walk toward them. Greet them as a friend. Keep breathing through each and every one. Birth surges are powerful but so are you, so trust yourself deeply.
This is the reframe that changes everything. A surge is not an attack. It is not something being done to you. It is you, doing the most powerful physical thing a human body can do.
The women who struggle most in labour are not the ones who feel the most pain. They are the ones who are most frightened by what they are feeling, who interpret each surge as a threat, who tense against it, who hold their breath and wait for it to end.
The women who move through their labours most powerfully are the ones who have prepared. Who know what surges are. Who breathe into them. Who even in the most intense moments understand that this sensation is productive. That it means something. That it is taking them somewhere.
What helps — in the moment
Beyond the breathing and self-hypnosis that hypnobirthing gives you, these practical tools can significantly change the experience of surges:
Water
Warm water either a birth pool, a bath, or a shower is one of the most effective tools for managing surges. It reduces cortisol, relaxes your muscles and provides gentle counter-pressure against your skin. The sensation of weightlessness can also increase movement which promotes a good labour. Many women describe getting into the water as a turning point, a moment when everything felt suddenly more manageable.
Hot water bottles
If water immersion is not available, a warm hot water bottle held against the lower abdomen or lower back during surges provides similar counter-pressure and warmth. Simple, accessible, and genuinely effective.
Movement and stretching
Moving with the surge rather than against it changes the experience of it. Swaying, rocking, circling, leaning forwards, these are not distractions from the surge. They are responses to it. Your body often knows exactly what movement it needs, so follow that instinct.
The breath
The single most powerful tool you have. A slow inhale for four counts and a long exhale for six or eight counts or using my Basic Breath Technique, practiced daily throughout your pregnancy until it is completely automatic. In the moment of a surge, this breath switches on your parasympathetic nervous system and changes your autonomic nervous system within seconds. It does not make the surge smaller. It makes you bigger than the surge. It can be the difference between riding those waves or being smashed by them.
How hypnobirthing changes the experience of surges
I want to close with this because it’s so important.
The physical sensation of a surge is influenced by the state of your nervous system. A woman who is frightened, tense, and flooded with adrenaline will experience the same contraction very differently from a woman who is prepared, calm, and in her parasympathetic state.
As the late Patrick Wall, a leading authority on pain, stated:
'Fear generates anxiety and anxiety focuses the attention. The more the attention is locked, the worse the pain'.
Hypnobirthing does not promise pain-free labour. What it promises is that you will not face your surges alone, unprepared and frightened. You will face them with the knowledge of what they are. With breathing tools that keep your nervous system calm. With a birth partner who knows how to support you. With a mind that has been trained, through weeks of daily practice, to go toward calm rather than toward fear when the intensity builds.
This is not a small thing. This can be everything.
You can use water immersion or hot water bottles, movement or stretching. But never forget these powerful surges are your body and baby working together effectively. Each one brings you closer to your baby's birth. Walk toward them. Greet them as a friend. They are powerful. But so are you.
Prepare for your surges… before they arrive.
The Better Birth Stories Online Hypnobirthing Course gives you the breathing techniques, the self-hypnosis, the birth partner training, and the knowledge to meet your surges from a place of preparation rather than fear. 94 lessons, 12 professional MP3s, £39/$49, 30-day guarantee.
→ Explore the Online Hypnobirthing Course