There is so much I want to tell you. So much that fills my head that I want to spill onto the page for you.
About birth. About parenting. About feeling invincible...or a bit broken.
I want you to understand the normality of your birth. The absolute normality of carrying twins. I wish to whisper into your ears at your midwife appointments 'you are normal....you are safe....your babies are fine....you are amazing'.
I want to follow you into your hospital ante-natal classes and mute the teacher...just for a while to tell you that you can birth normally. That there are other options than just the Obstetric Unit, but that if you want that then it is fine too. I want to replace that teacher's material with evidence gathered by AIMS (aims.org.uk) and Sara Wickham (sarawickham.com) so that you can come to your own evidence based beliefs about your birth and your needs.
I wish I could convince you that breathing and visualisations will work, and gas & air...and opioids...or an epidural. That the world is your oyster in how you wish to labour.
I want to tell your birth partner how to hold your birthing space. How to protect your oxytocin. How to raise you up above all others when our birthing system wishes to treat you as a problem. Or worse a disaster waiting to happen.
And post birth... I want to tell you about the golden hour. When you just stare at stare and these little humans. And how it is okay to feel weird, or tired or not okay....or so much love you think that your heart may break right there and then.
And I need to add the Baby Blues to my list...you see it feels awful but it is gone so soon. And do you know what? I do believe that in certain ways we can help to future-proof against PND....given half a chance. But that if that fog sinks over you, then you will see the light again. I promise that. I really do.
And the long nights will feel as if they are going on forever. And you may feel all alone with it all.
But how then can I describe how quickly it all goes. And how your breath will desert you when you see your tiny children looking so much older....and you realise that this part of your life...these halcyon days are moving on.
There is so much I want to teach you. So much I wish to tell you but for the most part you will discover it yourself. With time.
You are treading a well worn path my dear twin mums.
Trodden by those who gave birth at home...with one midwife such a long time ago....and more recently by the members of this very club.
For each step you take we hold your hand. We are here to remind you, that anything is possible. Birth is normal. You are perfect.